Belated Happy New Year

It's been a busy few weeks here at Crazy Towers since I last posted and my dad has had to have another two blood transfusions because he's severely anemic again

I recently found out that the severe anemia dad's been struggling with as well as the constant breathlessness are yet more side effects of the radiotherapy treatment dad had for his esophageal cancer in march of last year

Photo Description - Eko the Golden Cocker Spaniel and Boris the Black Cocker Spaniel standing side by side with their front paws on the back of a wooden bench out on the common. Both are looking at the camera and wearing their turquoise fleece jumpers as the temperature has really dropped here in the South of England

This was news to me as I must have completely missed the part of the conversation when we were told the side effects would be ongoing and not just during treatment, back when we were discussing his original treatment plan

The doctor also gently informed us that as dad is now so physically frail that radiotherapy is no longer a viable option for him if his cancer starts growing again, although if his swollowing ever starts to become difficult then they will fit a stent to make swallowing easier for him

 Dad was also asked if he wanted life saving treatment should his heart stop, although I have Lasting Power of Attorney for dads health I told the Dr I couldn't make that decision for dad at this point as it's not something we've ever discussed, plus I always let dad have a say in any of his treatment options as he's still capable of making these decisions more days than not

The Dr was very sympathetic to dad's situation with his alzheimer's and asked him in several different ways to ensure that dad understood the question and was very patient at answering any questions that dad had

My darling dad opted not to be resuscitated in the event his heart should stop, I was shocked to discover just how unwell dad is, it's not something that's ever been spoken about before

I wish I'd known dads wishes beforehand so I was prepared for when the DNR question was asked, I don't like to think of the day when my dad will no longer be here and now it's really been playing on my mind 

By the time we were driving home from the appointment dad seemed to have forgotten all about this somewhat upsetting news and was back to his usual happy self again

Which I suppose is a good thing as it means dad's not stressing out about it which he's prone to do

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A few weeks back I myself had an appointment about a surgery I've been advised I need to have, the copy of the GP letter arrived on Saturday outlining what happened at the appointment

It was like reading about somebody else's appointment altogether as my recollection was very different

The long term and ongoing after effects of this surgery of which there are many it appears in this letter, weren't discussed with me as I recall. I remember we discussed in depth that I would probably need to go to the ICU after surgery as I'm high risk and that I'd be up and about again in approx two weeks

I asked Himself if he remembered these points being discussed (he was also at the appointment because I have so much going on that I do sometimes forget things or only hear what I want too)  and he didn't remember either, which is really worrying as I really can't take the chance of being out of commission indefinitely

I'm now considering not going ahead with the surgery as the cons seem to far outweigh the pros from what I can make out reading the letter. My brother and his wife have already agreed to come over from France to look after our parents whilst I have the surgery and recover, but I can't afford be out of commission long term if things don't go to plan

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The mental health team also came out to discuss mum's recent assesment and more challenging behaviours that are manifesting as a result of her vascular dementia

We wasted a whole morning on that appointment as mum won't accept and couldn't care less about how much she's upsetting dad, which is exactly what I told them would happen as she's always been like it, she just doesn't have a filter on it now

  

This person has zero idea of what life is really like caring for both parents with dementia that need daily supervision, having to borrow money to buy a bigger car to accommodate both of their disabilities and walking frames just to get them to hospital appointments and let's not forget about the extortionate car park charges once there

I was then advised to take more time for myself and not allow myself to get into debt, I had to laugh at that little gem of advice. We don't follow the script the asseror had been trained to follow, so the whole appointment was a complete and utter waste of time, I was advised to speak  to someone at the Citizens Advice Bureau and get more carers in for mum

Until next time 

Dawn, Boris & Eko xxx 

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